Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Possible Implausibilities

13


During my many gaps between temp jobs, Jeff asked if I could help him as he worked late nights and off days at his father's dry-cleaning chain. The chain was undergoing dramatic growth and one of Jeff's duties was to make sure the shops where set-up and operating properly to save on hiring outside help. While Jeff didn't mind doing this, he was concerned that something might happen to him, such as a cap blowing off of a steam pipe, and no one would be around to call for an ambulance. So he asked me to join him at these work times to effectively be on watch for his safety and occasionally serve as a second set of hands. In return he'd pay for pizza and once in a while invite me to expand my wardrobe from long forgotten items in the chain's lost & found boxes.
It was one of these times, a Sunday afternoon when Jeff was building the customer service desk at a new store, that I was the one that got injured. We were carrying in a full sheet of heavy plywood into the shop and had to make a sharp corner, I was the one walking backward while Jeff pushed from behind and my right wrist became pinched between the doorway and the edge of the board. At first Jeff didn't realize it was my flesh holding up progress and gave it a good shove to get it passed the obstruction. I had to tell him to stop. You see, for some reason I never learned to cry out when in trouble and instead would just get quiet. Being a stutterer I avoided talking anyhow, so people rarely noticed the difference between when I was in trouble and when I was doing fine. I had to ignore the pain of having my wrist pinched & smushed by having to speak up and say, ''Stop!'' I asked Jeff to pull the plywood back out of the doorway to free my wrist and then we finished bringing it in with me only using my left hand.
My right wrist first turned red with the scraped skin in velvety waves above. Jeff asked if I was okay and I told him I'd be fine, and thus he went to work while I picked-out a tape of music to play in the tape deck as he worked. By the time he had finished a good chunk of the work needed, we went to a next door pizza place for a sit down meal and that's when we realized the red scraped area of my right wrist was now a bulging blue mass. Jeff wondered if I should see a doctor, but as I knew I couldn't afford it, I glossed it over by telling Jeff I had a worse injury happen to my left wrist and pointed to where I had a prominent scar that I had gained in my Freshman year of High School. The thing was, I realized at that moment that the scar had significantly faded to be just a small patch of discolored skin. It made it harder for me to sell to Jeff that it had been worse than my right wrist was now.
This was when I started to first wonder about strange things in my health. Such as the ragged patches of itchy skin during my elementary school years that, once the itching was gone, had healed without a trace. My burst left eardrum that, once the scabbing debris had been removed by the doctor a month or so after the fact, was found to be a still working eardrum. And now my badly scarred left wrist that was just a shadow on my skin. Within another five years, that shadow would be gone and people would doubt me when I'd try to tell them of the time I'd gotten injured in wood shop at school. Ten years later, I'd tell doctors about my burst left eardrum and they would take a look and then call me a liar because they found no trace that it had even been burst. And now, at this time in Nineteen Eighty-Four when my scraped & smushed right wrist healed...
I once thought these sorts of injuries were permanent, that they were forever. Others did too and apparently as I'm different in one obvious way, I'm different in others. If you take a look at the inside of your wrist, you'll likely see this bulging blue vein that emerges from your forearm and reaches the base of your palm where it splits into the various smaller veins crossing your palm and reaching your fingers. When my right wrist was injured by the plywood, that injury had crushed and torn-up that vein and the blood was pooling under my skin at the wrist as it no longer had a clear path to follow into my forearm. But I didn't know this at the time, only figured this out after the fact and I couldn't see anything beyond the swelling blue mass at my wrist.
Over the course of many days, if not a few weeks, it stayed there like that until it finally started to resolve and the swollen blue mass withdrew to reveal that something I never would have imagined had happened. Where once I had a vein going from my right palm to my right forearm, I now had many veins that split apart where the injury had taken place, then meet back up at a single point when entering the wrist.
For years, when I'd tell people my stories of scars that disappear and burst eardrums that repaired, they'd have their doubts. So then I'd tell them the story of my wrist using my left wrist as I talk about the vein and the injury I had, then end the story by showing them the many little veins that spread apart and reached back up on my right wrist. For some, this is a moment when they'd go, ''Wow.''
For others they just call me a liar and tell me I must have been born with my right wrist veins like that.
Such is life.
As I type this, now twenty-eight years after the injury, those many little veins have slowly continued to change and merge into just two obvious veins. In another twenty-eight years would they have finally merged back into the original single vein? I will never know.





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