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Have you ever had the experience where some people you meet for the
first time immediately hate you? And some people you meet for the
first time immediately trust you? About twice a year since I moved
to Colorado this would happened to me and the first time I remember
was when I went to get my second Colorado driver's license.
In New England we would get a renewed driver's license once every
four years, so at the age of twenty, the previous year, I'd gotten my
first Colorado driver's license only to discover it would last just
one year. Colorado had 'restricted' driver's licenses until the age
of twenty-one and thus on my twenty-first birthday I'd get the fun of
doing the exam and driving test all over again just to get the
unrestricted license. The paperwork and bubble test went by fine and
then I had to wait for the driving test, having passed without issue
the previous year I wasn't expecting any surprises, but when I
walked-up to the smiling driving examiner his smile vanished and he
barked, ''Where's you car?!?''
I took him to my car in the parking lot and we got in and he growled
at me to drive out of the parking lot and turn right. He looked down
to his clipboard and began filling in some details as I reached the
curb, came to a stop, looked both ways, and turned right onto the
clear road. He looked up from his clipboard and yelled, ''You didn't
look to the left before you pulled out!!!'' Stunned, I assured him I
had and he called me a liar and told me that, ''All people like
you are liars.'' People like what? I didn't ask as I was
expecting him to tell me which way he wanted me to go at the coming
intersection. Instead he was focused on telling me how terrible a
person I was and I had to interrupt him as we rolled up to the red
light to ask if he wanted me to turn or go straight.
This startled him as he quickly looked around and noticed where we
were and told me to turn right. I switched on the blinker at the
stop light, sensing my car it turned green as I made my turn. He was
back to yelling at me about my short comings which I found completely
befuddling as how the heck could this guy think he knew me well
enough to feel he knew this? I
had to prompt him again at the next light to discover which way to go
and I was told to turn right again. And he just stared at me the
whole way as he continued to chew me out about my personal life which
he clearly had no idea about and I again prompted him at the next
light to find I was to turn right again. By the fourth light I
pretty much guessed I was to turn right a final time which would
bring us back to the license bureau.
He just continued on his tirade and
I concluded on my own I should pull into the parking lot once we got
there as he was reaching the point in his endless stream that:
''You're the type of person who should never have a driver's license
and never will!!!'' Confused as to why, I asked him what I had done
wrong, driving wise. He had been so intent on shouting at me that
when he looked to his paperwork where he was to have been making
notes, it was still blank as he had been so intent on shouting at me
the whole ride that he hadn't thought to mark anything. He looked
back up at me and yelled that I hadn't
done enough
things
wrong, but I still wasn't
the type of person who should have a driver's license.
So what did this mean? I wondered as we got out of the car and
walked back into the office. Was he going to quickly mark all
kinds of things wrong on the paperwork off the top of his head so I
would have, in retrospect, failed the driving exam? I didn't
wonder this for long as I was called to the desk and handed my
renewed license.
Most often these incidents would happen when I was alone and people
would burst into complete hatred upon seeing me. Sometimes I'd ask
what it was I had done to offend them and they'd either storm off or
look confused as if suddenly realizing they didn't know, themselves.
Once in a great while I'd be with a friend when this happened and as
we'd leave the store they'd ask how long had I know the clerk and
what had I done to them to be hated so? I'd say I'd never met them
before in my life and had no clue.
Yet, about equally often, a stranger would see me and feel like I was
the one who would listen as they could finally unburden themselves
about something they had been keeping secret all their years.
Sometimes it would be people telling me of a dark moment in their
life that they'd gotten through, one time it was someone who had been
driving at night and glanced at his dashboard only to hear and feel a
'bump' and look up to see nothing, look behind to see nothing, and
had been haunted these past many years by it wondering what, or
who, he may of hit with his car. This was the first time he
had ever told anybody and didn't know why he thought to tell me.
Using the Golden Rule of do unto others as you would have them do
unto you, I would listen to them as they told me these stories
without judgment. They would seem comforted by telling me, and the
moment would pass and we'd go on our separate ways.
Over the years, I'd tell my friends of these incidents and they
wouldn't believe me, just assuming it was a story idea I was trying
out before I wrote it down, but I'd assure them it really did happen.
One of these doubting friends joined me as I went to get something
I'd ordered at a store. When I gave my name, they went in back to
search for it and we settled down on a bench to wait. A guy on
another bench saw me and started talking about his childhood where
his single mother had been a junkie and would routinely send him out
to the streets to buy her next hit rather than worrying about him
going to school. But after years of this, he had grown old enough to
realize this wasn't how he had wanted to live his own life as an
adult and made sure to attend school and graduate so he'd have the
option of living a different life. Then he said, ''I don't know why
I told you that,'' as the clerk arrived with my item and me & my
friend left.
''Oh my God! It just happened, didn't it?'' she excitedly whispered
in my ear on the way out, suddenly finding herself a believer.
I just gave her a look letting her
know it had, with that touch of wonder and a touch of sadness, for
I doubted I'd ever find my stranger to release me of the things that
haunted me.
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