Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Hardened

90


I realized I was a changed person after all of what had happened to me. It wasn't simply a case of cognitive changes where I used to have near photographic memories of many of my childhood experiences, and remembering word for word many of the key conversations I had with friends and family members at the time. With my years of emaciation these had now faded to impressions and gist. But my personality had changed as well.
I used to be the tag along kid always willing to help and try something new. While I was still willing to tag along, help and try new things, I now did so with caution & measure. Whereas I used to always trust adults and 'my betters', I now realized I often had a greater grip on the facts and trusted my own judgment on things rather than blindly taking theirs. If something didn't agree with the way I saw things, I was willing to change my mind if they were willing to provide the evidence, but I no longer assumed they were right and I must be mistaken. Where I used to not care for metal rock, with shrieky lyrics of betrayal & rebellion, I now found I identified with it all too well.
I had hardened.
Not as an impervious rock, but more like tempered steel. If the need arose, I was willing to smash and cut my way through a situation if I had to, metaphorically speaking. I never again trusted a doctor to tell me a test result, I would always get my own copy of the result ahead of time to review and research for myself. Then when I'd see the doctor about it I would discuss the results from a position of knowledge, rather than as a trusting, mute, empty-eyed recipient. Many doctors don't like knowledgeable patients, I have no tolerance for those doctors either.
While in the past I would often take a seat and watch what was going on around me as an observer, now I watched more as a cat willing to have my curiosity filled with the observation, but also willing to leap, attack and kill if I felt the need to get involved. Again, metaphorically speaking. Some friends have been surprised by this as they take me as the same 'go along to get along' person. At least Ninety percent of the time I would just seem like 'me' yet, if needed, I let them know where I stood. They would be flustered for a moment and then have to accept it. I don't now if it was the right lesson to have taken from the first twenty-seven years of my life, but it was the lesson I took just the same, and I've never regretted it.
From this point forward in my life, I've striven to tag everything I've heard. No longer do I hear things and then pass them on without thought. Now, if I've not verified it for myself, I'll note that 'Bob told me...', 'Jill said this...', always trying to keep the source of the information associated with the information itself in case... Just in case it turns out to have problems. And yet, once I've checked into something myself, all tags are discarded and I present the information as fact, no equivocation, no supporting sources cited. If you don't believe me, then look it up for yourself. I already have, likely.
For years I could be embarrassed or flustered as anyone else. But after my many failed physical examinations with doctors, I find nothing embarrasses me any more. If I turn out not to be aware of something or have the facts wrong, I quickly admit it and have a little laugh at my own expense on the side. I like to think of all of this as gaining self confidence and applying it, some people see it as threatening and are wary of me. Sometimes it's just as well but very rarely it's not and I miss an opportunity I would have liked. But in the scheme of things, I find those lost moments an acceptable cost for what I've gained.
I've gained the person who I am today.




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