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As Fall reached to Winter and the end of the year, I got a surprise
phone call. It was from a doctor's office I hadn't heard of before.
The scheduler told me that the doctor had become aware of my health
issues and wanted to help me. Could we make an appointment for
next week?
I had given up on seeing any more doctors about my health issues
after my last Premiere Medical Center experience. And also it seemed
strange that a doctor 'hearing about me', apparently through the
medical grapevine where no one had any releases to be talking about
me to anyone, could be a positive thing. Still, my COBRA health
insurance coverage period was down to its last few weeks and I
decided to accept the appointment in yet another tenuous hope of
finding someone who could help me with my weight loss and intestinal
issues.
As I was told the doctor's schedule was full, he had decided to put
aside one of his lunch hours so he could see me as soon as possible.
His office was in one of the well to do sections of town where
the average income level was five to ten times anything I had ever
made in a year, if not more. Perhaps with a doctor used to
treating well-off clientele with respect, he would have that respect
when treating me, I hoped. I
arrived at his office a half hour earlier than asked to give me the
extra time it took to do the initial intake paperwork at a new
doctor's office. But when I identified myself, there was no
paperwork handed to me. Assuming it had been forgotten, I asked the
receptionist about it and she called back to the doctor and sure
enough no past medical history paperwork was needed. Didn't
they even need my insurance card, at least?
Not now,
I was told.
So I instead got to take a seat in the otherwise empty waiting room.
Sure enough, rather than the usual pile of outdated 'Time' and
'People' magazines to chose from, all the magazines in his office
were about financial success and high life styles, unquestionably an
office focused on well-off patients and here I was without any income
and little prospects. I was called into the back area and the nurse
told me to undress and get into a gown; the doctor was going to
start off with a physical examination. Already my stomach
twisted as these never turned out well. Still, I set aside my nerves
and did what I was told and waited. When the doctor came in, oddly
with a mask covering his mouth and nose, he asked about my health
problems as he went to put on some gloves. I noted my years of
weight loss despite my recorded three thousand calorie a day diet.
That I had been in the hospital for a few days to have my intake and
output monitored and it was confirmed that on a diet of sufficient
calories, I had bouts of diarrhea and ended up leaving the hospital
two and a half pounds lighter.
He 'uhhumphed' as I said all this and then started his exam. First
with my emaciated breasts, then down to my private areas where he was
very thorough, hunting down the testicles, noting the amount of
excess tissue in my groin area that served no apparent purpose and he
went digging to see if I had a prostate which, after several minutes
of trying to find it, he did and told me of it and how small it was
and easy to over look. He was done. He never listened to or
percussed my abdomen which was the sort of thing I had been
expecting. He just said, ''I know another doctor who'll want to see
you,'' as he pulled off his gloves and left the room without another
word. A little bit later the nurse came in and told me I could get
dressed, then see the receptionist at the front desk on my way out.
The
receptionist was on the phone as I came back into the waiting area
and waved me over asking what days I'd have free the following week.
I told her and she consulted with the person at the other end of the
phone and my next
doctor appointment was set.
I was given a slip of paper with his address, phone number, and a
reminder of the date and time. This
next doctor had been kind enough to schedule this new appointment
during one of his own lunch hours the following week so I wouldn't
have to wait for a regular appointment time.
I got my check book to write out the co-pay and confirmed the amount
with the receptionist, but I was told there was no charge and I
didn't have to worry about it. Leaving the office and getting into
my car, I realized that no paperwork and no charge meant there
was no record that I had ever seen him.
Not even a regular slot taken in his appointment book, if I had even
been recorded in it at all. But I pushed my paranoia aside.
On the drive home I realized the next doctor's office was along the
way. I decided to stop by and get the initial paperwork packet so I
could complete it on my own time at home and thus save myself the
race to get it done in the minutes before the appointment. When I
got there and I identified myself, asking if I could get the
paperwork early, the receptionist couldn't find any record of me in
the appointment book. I noted that the previous doctor's office had
just called to set it up and now she knew who I was and found my
appointment noted on a separate piece of paper. She asked the other
girl next to her to go in the back area and ask what initial
paperwork I would need to fill out. As we waited, the receptionist
told me what a great idea it was to get the paperwork early as there
were always so many pages to get through.
When the other girl returned, she said I didn't need to fill out
any paperwork and that the doctor would just be doing an exam...
I
left the office, now feeling my stomach somersaulting in horror.
There seemed
something deeply wrong about this. On
the drive home I decided that I would call and cancel the appointment
and I did. I never heard back from the first doctor, nor did I ever
get another phone call from another doctor who had 'heard about me
and wanted to have me come in'. I
was pretty sure I had made the right decision.
Pretty
sure...
But for the next few years I was haunted by the doubt that maybe
that next doctor really
was
the right doctor I had needed to see. Maybe.
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